Well, this is just too funny. This weekend I came across a stack of old pictures of Mike. Most of ’em are in the 4-7 years old range.

BUT, an instant classic has emerged. The team portrait of the 1989 Norwich (CT) Little League Cardinals.

Natural picture glancing takes you to the center, where your truly is standing. 12 years old could possibly lend itself to an embarrassing photo, but not in this case. As a matter of fact, each of the guys on either side seem quite normal too.

Then, the eye starts to wander around examining the rest of this motley crew.

First let’s start w/ the “Head” Coach in the upper right…

Seriously, what IS up with this guy? Does this picture remind of you anyone???

Honestly, what were my parents thinking when they sent me to practice, or, hell, let me walk into the dugout and out of their sight in between innings? This guy is a walking Manual for “People who you shouldn’t let your kids talk to”. The full-facial, tinted sunglasses. The acid-wash denim jacket. The lack of head-to-shoulder-neck tapering. The porn-star mustache. Seriously. I used to have this safe feeling that my parents absolutely loved me… but looking at the photo of this character has me seriously doubting that.

As I digress, we’ll move on to the far left in the middle row…

I sort of do remember this kid. I remember not knowing what a “Uni-Brow” was at the time, but I was contantly intrigued how someone could have a single eyebrow. I’m now even more confused how an 11 year old could have one.

And it gets better as we move on to the front row.

Is it just me, or does this kid to the left look like he is in absolute pain? He has a grimace on his face that it looks like he’s giving birth to a pineapple. After reconsidering his body’s posture, I can almost, in fact, guarantee that he is indeed giving birth to one.

As we move to the right, we see a kid who knows how to gracefully take a dump. This little squatter knows how to do his moves…

Continuing to the right, I do remember the next kid…

This kid’s mom, made a chinstrap for his hat. I kid you not. Mind you, not  a chinstrap for his helmet, but for his red, MESH hat that he wore in the field. Upon reflection, I thought this was a brilliant idea, but now looking back at photographic history I suppose the issue of losing his hat in the outfield would have been corrected if he actually wore his hat on top of his head.

Continuing on to the right, we come to another kid who seems to be in pain as he is kneeling for the pose…

Do kids hate getting their pictures taken THAT much? Honestly… gee. Also, I dare you find any 10 or 11 year old who has that straight of a back.

Which brings us to the final kid in the front row…

If you notice the front row of the picture, artistically there is a natural flow toward the center of the photo. Well, that idea and composition is completely destroyed with this one here. Honestly, take a look- this kid looks like he’s about to fall out of the picture. The only reason that can explain this is that his glasses weren’t thick enough and he couldn’t see the photographer’s instructions.

And that was my Little League team!